Tuesday, 10 April 2018

Squishy Kiosk Review and Giveaway

Squishy Kiosk is a brand new online store that sells loads of super cute squishies. What is a squishy? I hear you ask. If you have kids you might already know as they are becoming really popular over here in the UK. A squishy is a foam toy that comes in all different designs that you can squeeze as much as you want and it will slowly inflate back to it's original size.  They are really satisfying to play with. 

When Squishy Kiosk asked us if we wanted to review some of their products I jumped at the chance because I know my niece Lilly loves these. We were asked which ones we wanted and I told them that we didn't mind but that I love penguins and Lilly loves unicorns. 
We were sent the following squishies:

Penguin Squishy - priced £5.59
Unicorn Flying To The Moon Squishy - priced £7.01
Chocolate Kiwi Double Scoops Ice Cream Squishy - priced £5.59

The squishies arrived wrapped up nicely in little bags in a box and came with a card and also a really cute little card to say our order was packed by Roy. I was actually surprised at the size of the squishies as I thought they would be much smaller. They fit well in the hand.  

Lilly came over and she loved the squishies. She especially loved playing with unicorn on the moon she loves squishing the tip of the moon. She took the two home and I kept the penguin. I really love how the back of the penguin is so soft. Lilly really enjoyed browsing the Squishy Kiosk website and looking at all the cute designs and is planning on buying more in the future. There are so many cute designs to choose from.

We definitely recommend squishy fans to check out the Squishy Kiosk site - and they offer free shipping worldwide too! 

*** Giveaway *** 

Our friends at Squishy Kiosk has kindly offered one of readers the chance to win a surprise box of Squishies. This giveaway is open worldwide and to enter you just need to follow the steps in the gleam widget below. Good Luck!

Webkin's World Squishy Kiosk Giveaway

Disclaimer: The squishies were sent to me for the purposes of this post. All opinions are my own.

Thursday, 15 February 2018

Yankee Candle Giveaway

One of my favourite hobbies is entering competitions. I have been a comper since around about 2000 and have won many lovely prizes. I really love winning prizes for my family. I thought it has been a long time since I last ran a competition on my blog so I thought it was about time for a new one. 

This lovely Yankee Candle set contains 10 tea lights and a tea light holder. I thought it would make a great Mother's Day present for someone or as a treat to my readers. I absolutely love Yankee Candles. 

The tea lights in this set are the following scents: 

Fluffy Towels
Midnight Jasmine
Vanilla Cupcake 
Summer Peach
Fresh Cut Roses
Pink Sands
Red Raspberry
Black Cherry. 

This competition is open to UK residents only. To enter the competition please follow the steps in the Rafflecopter below. The competition closes on the 4th March 2018. Good Luck. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Monday, 5 February 2018

Photowall Canvas Review

Bournemouth Pier - photo by Terry Conway

My good friend Terry is a very talented photographer. When he showed me his work last year I was amazed and since then I have always wanted one of his pictures on my wall.  So when Photowall approached me and asked me if I would like to review a canvas print I jumped at the chance. 

Photowall is a Swedish company that sells wall murals and canvas prints. They have a huge range of lovely designs you can choose from on their site or you can upload your own photographs. I was offered either a wall mural or a canvas print to review so I decided to go for the canvas print. Though I have to say if I was ever thinking of making a feature wall in  my home I would definitely have a look through their wall mural designs. 

Terry has quite a selection of photographs to choose from but the one that stood out for me was the above picture of Bournemouth pier. I love the colours and that looking at it makes me feel so relaxed. I knew it was the one I wanted on my wall. 

Ordering on the Photowall website is a very easy process. All I had to do was upload the photograph and select the size I wanted. I chose 90 x 60cm which is a fairly big canvas but perfect for what I wanted. When you change the measurements on the site and it will show a box on your photograph of the area that will get printed. Photowall also offer a photo editing service (at an extra cost) if you want any changes to your pictures. You also get to choose whether you want a wrap around canvas or a border around the edge of the wood. In this case I chose a black border. The canvas comes with a do-it-yourself frame which you put together at home. I put my order in on a Sunday night and was really impressed that my canvas arrived at my home four days later. 

The canvas was well packaged in a box along with the do-it-yourself frame with instructions on how to assemble. Here is what I received in the box.

Now I have to be honest here I was quite apprehensive about the idea of the do-it-yourself frame. Mostly because I am the most cack handed person around. I'm the person who took five weeks to make a groove on a box to stick a hinge for a lid when at school and even then the lid was hanging off. So I was worried about putting it together and did ask Terry to come around to help but he couldn't so I decided to give it a go myself. 

Firstly you roll out your canvas picture on a flat clean surface. Each piece of wood has sticky tape on which you line up with the edge of your canvas and stick down. On one edge I had issues with this but I could easily remove the wood and them re-stick it down. So if you do make mistakes it's not the end of the world. Then you fold the wood in to form the frame: 

Once it's all lined up you take the metal corner bars and screw them in to the holes in the frame:

After screwing in all four corners you are ready to go. They also provide a picture hook too for hanging on the wall. I was very impressed with how easy it was to put together and how it fitted together perfectly. If I can put it together anyone can! 

Overall I am very impressed with my canvas from Photowall. The ordering process was easy, the canvas was delivered quickly, was easy to put together and most importantly is excellent quality. It looks fantastic on my wall. I would definitely consider using Photowall again and recommend to my friends. 

Photowall has kindly offered my readers a discount of 20% on orders.  If you would like to order you can use the discount code WebkinsWorldCampaign2018  (valid until 19th March 2018).

Disclaimer: This Photowall canvas was sent to me for the purposes of this post. All opinions are my own.

Thursday, 1 February 2018

One Year Later.....

A year ago I moved back to Somerset after splitting up with Neil. It's been an up and down year and I have been shockingly bad at keeping my blog updated so I thought it was time for a little update. 

When I first moved back home I have to admit I spent the first couple of months being angry and heartbroken over the whole break up and I absolutely dreaded my birthday in April because the year before it was ruined by Neil telling me he didn't love me anymore (yes on my birthday of all days).  However when my birthday came around and I had a lovely day full of love and best wishes from my family and friends I decided there and then to let go of the anger. Now when I think of Neil, which to be honest isn't that often, I just think of the good times we had. 

So what else has been happening with me:


When I first moved down here I thought I wasn't going to cope living on my own again especially with my Chronic Fatigue and anxiety but since moving I have coped and I think I have gained a little more confidence in myself. Of course I have days where I'm not well but as long as my dogs are walked and fed then it's just a bad day and hopefully the next day will be better. I still nap pretty much everyday and I tend to find that if I don't nap one day then I suffer the next day. 
When I got here I was 19 stone 4lbs (my heaviest ever) so in the summer I cut down on snacks etc and got down to 17 stone 2lbs. However winter came along and I put on again. I weighed myself a week and a half ago and I was 18 stone 7lbs so I decided to start eating healthier again and cut out the Pepsi Max (I was back on two litres a day).  I weighed myself today and I have lost 6lbs so I am really pleased with that. 
My anxiety is still a big issue for me. Just little things worry me so much and I get panicky. I still get anxious in social situations where I obsess with the fact that I am going to throw up. I never do throw up but I always feel like I am going to. I have had this since I was 11 years old. It's going to take time to get better. 


The best thing about being back in Somerset is that I get to spend a lot more time with my family. I see my Mum, Sister, Niece and Dad often. They have been a huge support to me and I wouldn't be here today without them. It's been great being able to spend time with Lilly over the summer holidays. We walked the dogs a lot. We especially liked walking by the old coal miners pools around here. The men used to wash off in them many years ago after coming out of the mines. 

We also did a few Youtube videos and hung out. I can't believe how much Lilly has grown up. She is 12 years old now and has started high school. I am very proud of her. No more so then when I saw her in her primary school leavers play. She played Abanazar (the baddie) in Aladdin and she was brilliant. Since starting high school she has joined the school dance group and she is also attending Bath Theatre Royals Theatre School as she really enjoys acting. 

This year my dear and much loved Nan sadly passed away. My Nan meant the world to me and whilst I didn't get to see her as often as I would of liked to in recent years due to me being up in Kidderminster and my Nan being in Devon she will always have a huge place in my heart. I have so many amazing memories of my Nan especially from when I was a child. She was kind, loving, generous and fun. We had some great times together especially at Christmas and on holidays to the New Forest and Disneyland Paris and not forgetting the time when she tried to dance to Boyzone's "So Good". I will never forget those times. I will never forget her. 


I moved down here with the two dogs Shortie and Jack. The boys have really loved living down here especially the country walks. There has been a few health issues with them both. 

Jack suffers from a grass allergy which is really annoying because there are so many fields to walk in around here and he loves nothing more than chasing the ball. Here is a picture of happy smiley Jack: 

Shortie is 15 years old now and suffers from arthritis so he enjoys a bit of a slower pace of life. I am currently giving him medication to help with this. He also had to have an operation to remove 28 rotten teeth. I was absolutely amazed that he came out of the operation and ate on the same day. He has recovered really well but now mostly eats wet food due to only having 6 teeth left. He absolutely loved visiting Weston-Super-Mare beach. 

When I moved down here I had to leave my 17 year old cat Tigger with Neil. Tigger had thyroid problems and was getting very old and frail and it wouldn't of been fair to move him here where he wouldn't be able to go out, he loved the outdoors so much. For me it was a heartbreaking decision to leave him but I had to do what was right for him. Sadly in September Tigger passed away peacefully in his sleep. He was a lovely cat who had such a loving personality and such a funny purr. He used to love walking around the streets with Shorts. He used to greet the guests at our old guesthouse. He had a happy life. I will never forget his quirky ways like if you said "top of the head" to him he would tilt his head for you to kiss it. I miss him a lot. 


Since moving down to Radstock I have made a really good friend called Terry who I chat to most nights on the phone and we meet up every so often. I used to chat to Terry about twenty years ago in an online chat room (IRC). One day I was having a bit of a down day and he messaged me on Facebook and we got chatting and now we are really good friends. He has been a rock to me and makes me laugh. He is kind and a true gent. I am very lucky to have him in my life. I'm looking forward to going to see Tears For Fears with him in Bath in May. 

Terry is also a talented photographer. He took this picture of me and I love it. 

So it hasn't been a bad year at all. Whilst occasionally I get a little bit lonely, as I still haven't met Mr Right, I am far more happier than I was. 

They say home is where the heart is and that is right where I am now. I'm home. 

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

Kawaii Box - November 2017 - Review and Giveaway

When our friends at Kawaii Box contacted us see if we would like to review their November 2017 box we replied "Yes please!" as we absolutely love their super cute subscription box.

Kawaii box is a monthly subscription box which contains between 8 to 10 cute hand-picked items direct from Japan. The box is affordable at under $20 a month and they ship for free worldwide.

This months box has the title Kawaii Thanksgiving Parade and is full of lovely surprises. Lets have a look inside:

The first item I picked out was this super cute seal plush - looking at the card that comes with the box which lists all the items I see she is a Techi Techi Gomarachi Plush. She is so soft and has such a cute face. I know one of my nieces will claim her as soon as they see her.

Next up is this Kanahei soft string bag. Again it's such a soft feeling bag and the picture on the front makes me smile. I think my niece will use it for make up or stationery (if I don't keep it for myself). 

I absolutely love stationery and so does my niece. The next items I took out of the box is this cute Let's Go Mini Notebook - this would make a great stocking filler and this super cute Rain Boot ink pen. 

Then out came the Kasugai Chibi Vege Ramune candies which is in a cute bag. My niece will definitely claim these for herself and the Harajuku food hair clips which I think are really fashionable. My younger niece will love these. 

And the final items in the box is the Twinkle Jewel Seal Deco diamonds set which are fab to bling items up and the Gudetama sticker set which I absolutely love. 

This is another great box from Kawaii. It is definitely the cutest box around!

*** Giveaway *** 

Kawaii box has kindly given us a box to giveaway. You can enter our giveaway below using the gleam widget. Open worldwide - Good Luck. 

Disclaimer: The Kawaii Box was sent to me for the purposes of this post. All opinions are my own.

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Blippo Surprise Kawaii Bag Review and Giveaway

When I had an email from our friends at blippo offering me their new Surprise Kawaii Bag to review I jumped at the chance. My niece Lilly in particular loves all things Kawaii as it's always so cute. I was so excited for it to arrive and to share it with her. Blippo have also given us a bag to give away to our readers too. You can enter the competition at the bottom of this blog post. 

Here is what you get when you open your box in the post. A really cute blippo bag jam packed full of seriously cute Kawaii goodies. 

Blippo actually have four different types of surprise bags you can buy. There is the Blippo Surprise Candy Bag, the Blippo Surprise Kawaii Plush Bag, the Blippo Surprise Kawaii Stationery Bag and the Blippo Surprise Kawaii Mixed Bag which is the one that we received. 

I was so tempted to open the bag straight away when it arrived but I waited until the weekend for Lilly to come over and open it with me. We decided to do a Youtube video of us opening it which you can find here

So here is what we got in the bag:

We got a really cute Fresh Summer Juice Fan which Lilly loved so much she even took it out with us. Some really cute fruit hair clips. I especially loved the kiwi one. A comb and mirror which folds up into a chocolate bar shape which is handy to carry in a handbag and a cute bracelet with shells charms on. 

Next up we had three little purses/bags. I absolutely love the Pikachu one as I am a big fan of Pokemon. There was one with a cute face on and the other one was in the shape of a slice of watermelon. And we got a little ice cream charm that you could put on your bag and keyring in the shape of an Oreo which Lilly informs me is a squishy. She absolutely loves the keyring. It's one of her favourite items from the bag. 

Another favourite item of Lilly's is the little animal spray bottle which I think you are supposed to put perfume in but Lilly decided to fill it with water and spray her face when she felt hot. It's plastic so would be great to fill up with perfume for travelling. Then we got a luggage tag with macarons on which was cute. Has anyone ever tried a macaron? I haven't but I really want to know what they taste like as they are look really yummy. Then we got what we thought was another luggage tag with a CUTE lama on. We love the lama so much. On further investigating we found out the item is actually a credit card holder. We love it! We got some Hello Kitty geek glasses which were super cute and some little pearls that you can use to bling up your mobile phone. 

And finally we got this absolutely adorable soft plush cat which we just love and of course the cute blippo bag itself which can be reused for bits an bobs. 

We thought the bag which costs under £15 was great value for money and would make a lovely birthday gift especially for girls who love all things Kawaii and cute goodies. As you can see from the picture below Lilly loved it all and took it all home with her apart from the Pikachu purse which I have kept for myself.  We love love love Kawaii! 

***  GIVEAWAY ***

Blippo have kindly given us a Kawaii Suprise Mixed Bag to give away to one of our readers. The giveaway is open worldwide. To enter please use the Gleam widget below and good luck! 

BL Webkin's World Giveaway

Disclaimer: The blippo Surprise Kawaii Bag was sent to me for the purposes of this post. All opinions are my own.

Monday, 8 May 2017

Mental Health Awareness Week: Living With My Anxiety

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week so I thought it would be good to write a piece about how I have lived most of my life with anxiety issues. 

I can't pinpoint the exact time I first suffered from anxiety but as far as I remember I definitely had it when I was in my first year of senior school (so around the age of eleven). I started thinking I was different than everyone else and that I must be weird. I never opened up about my problems to the full extent of it until recently.In the last few months I chatted to my dad about it and he asked me why he didn't know about it until now. It's because I didn't want to tell people. I felt weird and like there must be something wrong with me. 

For me I really struggled at senior school in particular with assemblies and exams. But I even struggled in most lessons. Back then I would get into a room with my fellow students and all I would do is obsess with one of two things. It would either be needing to go to the toilet and worrying I wouldn't be able to hold it and that I would wet myself or that I was going to throw up. Both obsessional thoughts in my mind was "what if I did this? and what would people think?" I remember depending on which thought it was at the time that I would do certain things. Like I would go to the toilet a minute before the bell would go for the next lesson even if I didn't need to go or I wouldn't eat much at lunch if I was obsessing about throwing up. My grades at school definitely were affected by this. I would get into an exam and I wouldn't be able to concentrate because the thoughts were there constantly going around and around, what if? or I'm going to be sick or wet myself. Waves of panic came over me. I would go hot, I would get scared, I would talk to myself in my head saying "You are going to be alright Ellen, don't worry".  I tried to stop focusing on it and do the work I need to do but it was always there as my main focus. 

It was at this point that I started avoiding doing things if I could. Most kids loved a school trip but I would avoid it by pretending to be ill. I have to admit here I did a lot of skiving and played my mum a lot (sorry mum) to avoid going to school. If I had a way to avoid doing something I would.  

In my late teens and early twenties I had the darkest period of my life. I got glandular fever and then I hit rock bottom. I had a huge bought of depression which added to my anxiety. Some of the thoughts I had around that time were so dark and the slightest mention of anything affected me and away my mind would go, obsessing. All I thought was I must be a bad person and I wanted them to lock me away and throw away the key. At this time I was put on medication for OCD and I remain on it to this day. It takes away the really really dark and nasty obsessional thoughts. 

When most people think of OCD they think of people constantly cleaning or washing their hands but it can manifest in so many different ways. Imagine thinking the worst thing you could and then it going around and around in your head constantly. That was what it was like for me. My first bought began when I took the morning after pill and my tongue swelled up. At the time the doctor told me it wasn't an allergic reation to the tablet but stress. So I started obsessing that my tongue was going to swell up when I was out and about and how embarrassing it would be because I wouldn't be able to talk. I spent hours in front of the mirror checking the size of my tongue because I was convinced that if I got stressed it would swell up again. It never did swell up again.

I can remember another day I was sat at my computer and I had the thought "What if I screamed constantly? How embarrassing would that be?" it then went on from there to some really dark stuff which I don't want to write here because it's nasty and I find it quite embarrassing. Suggestions from things I would see in the media I would get taken away with and away I would go obsessing about it. The anti-depressants I am on have helped taking away the dark thoughts and whilst I have reduced my dose over the years I know in my mind that I will probably be on them for life. I would rather be on tablets my life though than feel like I am losing my mind completely. 

So in my mid twenties I started feeling a lot better as the nasty thoughts were under control due to the tablets but it didn't stop my anxiety about throwing up in public and to this day I am still suffering with this. 

The worst places for my anxiety are cinemas, theatres or where there is a big group of people in one place. No matter how hard I try I still get the thoughts of "what if I'm sick? I feel sick" I then panic. I go hot, I feel like I can feel the sick coming up and I can't breathe properly. The worst thing about all of this is I have never been sick in public so I don't know why I think it but I do. It's like a switch as soon as I get in to the situation I start getting the obsessional thoughts etc. I've felt it at my sisters wedding, my grandfathers funeral and at family meals in restaurants. 

It's only recently I have talked more about my anxiety and decided I want to do something about it. I am thirty eight now and have had this for at least twenty seven years it's time to get help and try to overcome it. I am not living my life, I am avoiding it!

I want to be able to go to the cinema or theatre and enjoy it. I want to go and see Phillip Schofield film one of his tv shows (I actually told Phillip about my anxiety when I met up with him in my mid twenties which I never thought I would do and he was incredibly understanding about it. I just didn't want him to think I was a bad fan for not going to his shows). I want to go to a Boyzone concert in an arena. I want to be able to see some of the world and travel. Most of all I want to do all these things and enjoy myself doing them, not just survive them like I do at the moment. If I go to a cinema for example I spend ninety percent of the time panicking and the last few minutes of the film I calm down because I know the end is coming up and I will get out of there. Then I come out of the cinema and in my head have an overwhelming feeling of joy, like I have achieved something because I went to the cinema and survived without throwing up. Where as most people go to the cinema to have fun. 

I often wonder if I had spoken up about it when I was eleven would my life of been different. Would I have got help and sorted it out? Would I have succeeded more in life? Would I be happy and content with my life? Would I of had more happy experiences? One of the reasons I've never had children has been because I wouldn't want to hold them back and the way I am now I would of avoided certain situations because of the way I get and that wouldn't of been fair on them. 

So here I am now. I am finally asking for help with this. I have been to my doctors and I am waiting to see a therapist to learn some techniques to overcome the anxiety. I am also pushing myself a little more to do things that make me feel uncomfortable. I've started going to bingo once a week with my mum and sister. Every single week I sit there obsessing about throwing up whilst playing along. One week I got in a really bad state where I could hardly breathe but I make myself go every week because I do enjoy it and I think maybe it's good to push myself. To this day I haven't been sick in public but the thoughts are still there. I hope one day I will find a way to control the thoughts instead of letting them control me. 

If you too are living with anxiety please speak to someone and seek help like I am doing. There are so many people out there who can help you.  Don't suffer in silence like I have done for so many years. And most importantly know that you are not alone. 

Links to charities that can help: 

Friday, 21 April 2017

My Online Dating Experience

About a month and a half ago I decided to give online dating a go and sign up to a popular free dating site in the hope I would find a new friend and maybe build a relationship with him over time. I signed up open minded about the type of men who would message me and made an honest positive profile with plenty of pictures including full length ones to show that I am a larger lady. Over my time on there I discovered there are five types of men: 

Mr Jerk - there is no way you are going to escape these type of men on dating sites. The ones who think that sending a sexual message or talking about sex after one message or even on the first message is going to get them a shag. As my messages came in I could almost tell who was going to be a jerk by their picture. These tended to be the really attractive men who looked at my profile and thought "oh a fattie, she must be desperate and easy." To me the biggest turn off ever is a man who wants to talk about sex before anything else. Don't get me wrong flirting is fine but this was not flirting. I'm not interested in your foot fetish, that you like to give other men blowjobs or you want to cum all over my face. I want to get to know you and what you enjoy doing in life not in the bedroom. I also hate it when men over use the word "babe" or "princess" when they don't even know you. I clearly stated on my profile I wanted a relationship not a one night stand but you just can't escape these type of guys. 

Mr Waster - this one is hard for me to write about and I hope I come across the way I want to. I fully understand that people have illnesses and are on benefits. I know this because I am one of those people but these are the men who are on benefits and openly admit they don't mind staying on benefits for the rest of their lives. I personally hate the fact I am on benefits and I am doing everything I can to get help with my condition so that I am well enough and reliable to get a job even if it's just part time at first. I am very understanding towards mental health issues and serious disabilities but these are guys who with help and time could get back into work but just want to take the easy way out. For example I met one guy who has diabetes and he refuses to have treatment for it and said he was going to die young and was happy to be on benefits for the rest of his life. I'm sorry but I don't want to be with someone that has no ambition at all or won't even try to help themselves. 

Mr Rude - these are the men who obviously think they are better than you that they don't even think you are worthy of a response. As I went through profiles I decided to message men who I shared common interests with. I am well aware that I am not the prettiest girl out there. I never have been a popular girl and now with my weight I feel worse about myself. I think I'm not like most girls as I am not into fashion and beauty etc. However I did find some people who I thought looked nice and shared interests with me. I guess I kind of veer towards the geeky type of guy. Anyway I would send a nice message about our common interests and then nothing. To them I obviously wasn't worthy of a reply. I guess they looked at my profile and judged me by my appearance. Whereas I replied to every single person that messaged me even the Mr Jerks. Even if it was to say thanks for the message but sorry I'm not interested. Maybe I was wrong to do that but I grew up learning to be polite and have manners and to treat people how you wish to be treated. I gave every guy I chance because you never know when something might click. 

Mr Time Waster - when I first joined the site I had quite a few responses. As a new fish in the pond everyone was eager to find out more. These are the guys who I have chatted to since I first joined but the chat goes no where. It's the same old. They come online every couple of days and message me to ask me how I am or what I am up to and then that's it. They don't ask anything about me or suggest anything more. They are happy to bumble along for months on end repeating the same old things. 

Mr Pushy - after reading about the time wasters it's probably weird that I am now writing about the pushy men. These are the guys who want to meet after one message. I understand it's frustrating logging in and chatting daily but as a woman online I have to be careful who I meet. I have been online since I was 15 years old and I have had some unpleasant experiences with some men I have met so I don't think it's unreasonable to ask to chat for a little while and then exchange numbers and chat on the phone for a bit before meeting up. You have to be careful there are some nasty people out there. These men tend to disappear when you ask them to talk a bit more before meeting.

Saying all that I did speak to two potentials. The first one was a guy I chatted to online and on the phone. We even planned to meet up. We had a lot in common and then on the day we were meeting he let me down. I was understanding that things crop up that can't be helped but then he left me hanging for five days waiting to hear from him. When he finally contacted me he was in a rush and things just didn't add up. I am not 100% sure if he was already in a relationship or what. I just didn't want to be left hanging like that and so I told him and then nothing. He just ignored me and never contacted me again. So that was the end of that. 

The second guy I really liked. Not necessarily as a date as I was pretty sure he wasn't interested in me in that way but as a friend. We got on well in messages. We had friendly banter and chatted about all sorts including how hard it was to find decent people on the site. He even admitted that I am the one person he found easy to talk to and enjoyed talking to. I know he wasn't sure if online dating was for him so he deleted his profile without saying bye or anything. Then a week later he popped back up again with a new profile and we chatted again then he did the same deleted it without as much as a bye or a way to keep in contact. So I guess I thought more of him than he did of me. 

Last night I decided enough was enough. I deleted my profile. I just got fed up with the same old and realised I am not unhappy on my own. I have my family and friends online. I don't need a man to be happy. I believe there is someone out there for me and that he will probably appear when I least expect it. I'm not saying online dating sites don't work because you do see many success stories but right now it's not for me. I know love will find me in the end it always does.  

Sunday, 12 March 2017

A Fun Weekend With Lilly

One of the things I love most about being back in Somerset is that I get to spend quality time with Lilly. Before I would only see her a few times a year but now I can see her whenever I want and she loves nothing more than coming over for a sleep over. 

This weekend she came over on Saturday morning and we decided to do another video for our YouTube channel. At the moment apparently it's all the rage to do challenge videos. So we decided to do the fizzy drink cocktail challenge where we bought a load of different fizzy drinks and mixed them all up into one drink and poured them out into coconut cups to drink from. We had a great laugh as always and Lilly is a natural on camera.  Here is our video: 

We then took the dogs for a lovely walk in the fields which they loved, especially Jack who loves to run after the ball. We then had a Chinese takeaway and watched Riverdale on Netflix. We really love this series but we didn't really get into this episode as much as others for some reason. 

In the evening we decided to do the tin can challenge for our YouTube as we had bought some tins earlier in the day. Basically the idea was to take the labels off the tins and mix them up and put numbers on them and then draw numbers and eat spoonfuls of the contents of the tins. I absolutely hate fish so wasn't excited about that and we had a huge nightmare trying to find a tin opener that worked. And then to my surprise at the end of the video Lilly decided to feed me tinned dog food which she found totally hilarious! It was yucky but the video is quite funny. Here it is: 

Today we chilled out and went for another walk with the dogs. Now I am totally shattered but I had a really great time. Someone criticised me for doing the videos with Lilly but I love doing things with her that makes her happy and as you can see from them I had a great time too. It's all fun fun fun :) 

Sunday, 26 February 2017

New Beginnings

I didn't write on my blog much last year because it was the worst year of my life. The year started off with big changes that Neil and I didn't see coming that ultimately brought our relationship to an end. Well I say that but I never really found out what caused our relationship to go from happy to ending a week later whilst I was away on holiday with my family but I do know at least one other person was involved in Neil's decision. 

At the very start of last year my life was starting to look up. I had one to one appointments with a chronic fatigue therapist so I was looking forward to trying to learn to control my fatigue better and hopefully get back in to employment once I had a better sleeping pattern and I was reliable. Then after a few big changes in Neil's life on my birthday and after seven years together he decided to tell me he didn't want me anymore. My 37th birthday was the worst birthday of my life. I was heartbroken and spent most of the day crying. Neil did agree to try again but then after a month he decided to give up on us again. I do believe that other people influenced his decision and that a few lies were told but I am not really going to go into great detail because it's just not worth it.
Instead I am going to write a few things about what I have learnt from my experience: 

1. Never believe in promises made at the start of a relationship.  The start of a relationship is so exciting but things can so easily be said when lust is involved. I was promised so much from Neil including him moving to Somerset to be with me, marriage and trying for kids. I should of known after three years when he said he would move and he didn't that these things were just said to keep me interested. I don't believe Neil had any plans to marry me. In fact he confessed to me before I left that he didn't even want to get engaged. That hurt a lot because he knew how important these things were to me at the time. He may of been there before and done all that but I hadn't and I basically wanted what most women want in life. Right up to the day before Neil dumped me he told me he loved me daily and often. Those three words are so easy to say. 

2. Never move from your happiness for anyone.  For me I have always been extremely close to my mum, dad, sister and niece. I know a lot of people move away from their family when they are adults but for me it was the hardest thing to do but I did it because I loved Neil and wanted our relationship to progress and it was the next step for us but it lead to four years of unhappiness for me. Yes we had good times but I felt terribly homesick for my family and for Somerset. Kidderminster was never my ideal location to live. I think anyone will know there is a huge difference between Bath and Kidderminster. I just wasn't used to it and I saw things there I have never seen before in my life. I made a few friends there mostly through walking Shortie but they weren't really people I hung out with so I was incredibly lonely most of the time and the house wasn't my idea home, it was always Neil's house and I never felt I could make it my own. I just got on with it though because I loved Neil and I wanted to be with him. Only since moving back here I have fully realised how unhappy I was up there outside of our relationship. 

3. Good guys aren't always the best.  I've never gone for the tough type of guy and I am not going to go out now and find someone rough for my next relationship but there is such a thing as being too nice and I think Neil fell into that category. When we were together he was my rock and even when we split up and before I moved he was still kind to me but the problem with this is he had no balls. When we got together he promised me he would always be open with me if he was unhappy but he didn't tell me and right to the end he kept things from me because he was too scared to tell me. I was always totally open and honest about me thoughts and feelings but he couldn't do that which I found extremely cowardly. 

4. Some mothers need to let their sons grow up and fight their own battles.  When I was with Neil I really liked his parents and respected them but that when down the pan when Neil's mother decided to take it upon herself to quite frankly butt in to our relationship and be totally disrespectful to members of my family who she had never even met. I understand that everyone is going to protect their child but Neil is in his forties yet his mother still treats him like a little boy sometimes. It wasn't needed. The thing that really showed her spitefulness was when she gave me a gift before Neil dumped me and then as I was leaving she demanded it back. Lots of my friends said to just take it but I decided to leave it because I am a better person than her. I would never do that to someone. She has to live with that though. I believe in what goes around comes around and maybe Neil's next partner won't be as kind as I was and maybe can tell her to back off a bit and let Neil be the man I believe he can be. 

5. I deserve better and happiness.  Over the months that I remained at Neil's looking for somewhere to move (which wasn't easy due to my health problems and my dogs) I did a lot of thinking. Every day for months I had to watch the man I loved move further and further away from me and leave me alone every night whilst he went up to the attic to sleep in the other room in the house. At first it hurt a lot. Neil withdrew from me so much in the end that I'm afraid to say I doubt we will ever have the friendship I had always hoped for. He started walking the dogs alone for longer and didn't want me to go so he could talk to other people on the telephone. He even left me to spend most of Christmas and New Year alone. 
The biggest thing I have learnt is I deserve better than Neil. I have my problems and faults but that doesn't mean I am a bad person that doesn't deserve to be loved and happy. Right now I'm enjoying time alone, being just me, but in the future I do believe I will find happiness with someone else. During my early adulthood I spend my whole time searching for "the one" then when I hit 25 I decided to take time out and just have friends and find myself. At 31 I met Neil and I believed he was "the one".  Now I am not sure I believe in "the one" theory. I to believe that people can have more than one person who is special in their lifetime. I live in hope I will find something special again in the future. 

Despite everything that has happened I will always think highly of Neil because we had some really good times together and like I said he is a nice guy he just needs to be a little more open with people. I wish him well and happiness too. 

So at the end of January I moved back to Somerset. When I was getting towards the moving date I was so worried that I wasn't going to cope and that my depression was going to flare up in a big way but when I moved back it was almost like an instant switch in me. I became this new and more positive Ellen. I still have really bad fatigue days but for the most part I am happy. My family says even my voice sounds different. I am far more confident and don't wake up thinking I have nothing to live for or look forward to. 

I didn't write on my blog that last year Neil and I adopted a new dog. He belonged to my friend Debs but he just wasn't that happy with some of her other dogs so she did the kindest thing for him and gave him to us. We knew Jack from the age of 8 weeks and to be honest I fell in love with him instantly. He is such a special boy. He loved Neil a lot but when we split up there was no way Neil could keep him with work commitments and I wanted to keep him so he moved back to Somerset with me and Shortie. 

The hardest thing I had to do was leave my Tiggs with Neil. Tigger was my cat for 16 years but I had to do what was best for him. Some people criticised my decision on Facebook saying they could never leave their cat but I had to do it for him and I know Neil will take good care of him. As Tiggs is an older cat I thought it would be unfair to take him away from where he was happy. If he had come with me he wouldn't of been able to go out and Tiggs is such an outdoors cat. He loves to roam about. I cried a lot over my decision and not a day goes by when I don't think of him. I really hope he would forgive me and know that I had to put his happiness first.  

I love being back in Somerset. I love it down here. I love living in an uncluttered home. 

I am enjoying lovely countryside walks with my dogs, Shortie and Jack. 

And most importantly I am loving spending time with my family. I go to bingo with my mum and sister Anna every week and I go walking in the fields with Anna, my niece Lilly and our dogs often too. 

I also get to have sleep overs with Lilly which is so much fun. We do things like go geocaching or make funny videos. Today we decided to do the smoothie challenge where we got some yummy and yucky goodies to put in and made smoothies. It was very messy, gross and funny. Here is our video if you want to see what we put in the smoothies. 

One thing for sure - I wouldn't change my life for all the money in the world right now. Home is where the heart is and my heart is with my family and Somerset. I would never go back now. 

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me.....and I'm feeling good" 

Thursday, 27 October 2016

The Great Balloon Experiment

When I was 15 years old my family visited a garden centre in Bath. On the day in December they were handing out helium filled balloons. My sister, our friend and I decided to grab one each. When we got home we decided to make labels with our addresses on, attach them to the string of the balloons and cover the labels in sellotape to make them waterproof. We then went out to our cul-de-sac and released them into the air. We actually found one of the popped balloons the next day over the field nearby in a tree but the other two went away and we didn't really think about them. 

Early March of the next year there was a knock on the door from a teacher from the local school which was on the road nearby our road which had a similar name. The teacher was holding a letter addressed to me. When I opened the letter I was amazed to see my balloon with my label in the envelope, a coin and a letter. I read the letter and it was from a young boy, aged 11, called Daniel. He had found my balloon near his home in south GERMANY! I was amazed that my balloon had travelled that far and that he had kindly looked up Bath on the map as I didn't think to include England on the label. He also sent me a lucky coin from Germany too. I think it was the equivalent to a penny over here. We wrote to each other a few times but he didn't know much English at the time so we stopped after about two letters. Sadly as the years past and I moved home I lost the balloon and label but I always tell the story of how my normal helium filled balloon travelled all that way. 

So today my niece Lilly and I decided to recreate it with five balloons and see if we get any replies. We went down to the local card/balloon shop here in Midsomer Norton and got 5 plain coloured balloons filled with helium. We came home and made a brand new gmail email account for the experiment and made the cards asking for people who find them to email us with their special numbers for each balloon. We stuck sellotape around the card to make them waterproof and attached them to the ribbon on the end of the balloon. We then walked over to the local field to release them. 

Lilly holding the balloons

Due to it being a bit windy they got a bit tangled up on the way so it took us awhile to untangle them ready for release as we wanted them to go separately and the pink one got away first. Then we set about releasing the others one at a time. 

Lilly saying goodbye to one of the balloons

I did try and do a video but in the fluster of unravelling the ribbon it didn't work. We don't think the green one will get too far as it seemed heavier and a bit of a slow starter but it did eventually go up so who knows. 

Our green balloon the slow starter

We really hope people find some of our balloons even if they only live nearby and it was great fun to do. If we get any replies we will definitely update our readers. You never know one of these could be heading over the sea to Europe! Fingers crossed!

Friday, 21 October 2016

Kawaii Box - September 2016 Review and Giveaway

Our friends at Kawaii Box kindly sent us their September box to review for them and also one box to giveaway to one of our lucky readers. 

Kawaii box is a monthly subscription service that sends you cute goodies each month (usually between 10 and 12 items in each box). It's always a box full of cuteness ranging from stationery, cuddly plush toys to Japanese candy. Lets take a closer look at what we received in our box:

Rabi-Dango Plush

First up we have this really cute Rabi-Dango plush toy. It's a cute little rabbit and is so soft and little and even has a little bunny tail on the back. This was the first item that Lilly (my 11 year old niece) spotted in the box and wanted to get out. 

I Love You Purse 

This little purse is so cute with a cool cat design on the front. We couldn't read the writing on it but luckily Kawaii always sends us a list of what's in the box so I believe it might read "I Love You". The purse is really cute and Lilly is going to use it for her change to take on holiday next week.

Happy Day Notebook Set and Invisible Secret Pen Set 

Next up we have the absolutely adorable Happy Day Notebook Set which has a cute little penguin on the front (I love penguins) and what looks like a little onion. The notebook is in a little blue case and when opened the paper has a cute penguin design on. It comes with a little pen and some cute stickers. 

Then we have the Invisible Secret Pen Set this is ultra cute too. You write with the pen end and it's invisible but on the other end of the pen there is a light so that when you shine it on your writing you can read it. It also comes with a little magnifying glass. We love it! 

Pastel Cupcake Pen and Dream & Explore Notebook

Our next item is the pastel cupcake pen which has a cute little plastic cupcake at the top of it. It's actually a pencil and really cute. We also received a Dream and Explore notebook which is great. We love little notebooks for writing lists and notes.  

Harajuku Hair Loop Set, Diamond Deco Stickers and Sweet Animals Sparkle Stickers

Next up we have a really cute little set of hair bands which have little hearts on. We love these as Lilly wears her hair up so we will definitely use them. We also received two lots of stickers. The Diamond Deco stickers are really nice and shiny and remind us of gems but our favourite are the Sweet Animals Sparkle Stickers. They have really cute designs and have raised plastic windows which contains little balls. We love how cute the animals are. 

Pokemon Ramune Candy and Kracie DIY Candy Kit

And finally the candy. First up the Pokemon candy which has a cute Pikachu design on the front which we think is awesome especially as I love playing Pokemon Go, the sweets tasted nice too, they were pineapple flavour.

We were very excited to see a DIY candy kit in the box as we love them and don't have anything like it over here in the UK. After a bit of searching online we found instructions of how to make the candy. Basically it comprises of tipping out the powdery pouches and adding a bit of water and doing a bit of mixing. Here is a picture of how the candy turned out.  It tasted really nice, we particularly liked the yellow section. 

As I am down visiting my niece Lilly at the moment we thought we would also do an unboxing video as well. You can watch our video here.

Overall we would highly recommend the Kawaii box to our friends especially if you love cute goodies and receiving surprises in the post. You can subscribe to the Kawaii box on their website - http://www.kawaiibox.com

*** GIVEAWAY ***

As mentioned at the start of this post the kind people at Kawaii Box have offered us a box to give away to one lucky reader.  The competition is open worldwide. To enter the competition please use the rafflecopter below: 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclaimer: The Kawaii Box was sent to me for the purposes of this post. All opinions are my own.

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

Remembering Billy Franks

On 20th September we lost a true gent, a talented and beautiful singer. Aged just 60 he was suddenly taken away from this world. Here are my fond memories of the legend, Billy Franks. 

I first came across Billy in 2001 when his music was featured on my local radio station Bath FM. I remember hearing him and thinking 'wow he sounds great'. So I did a bit of searching online and managed to get in contact with him via email. Billy was so kind he sent me some of his cds to listen to and I discovered what a truly talented singer and song writer he was.

Billy and I kept in contact online regularly (thank God for the internet) and I decided to create a fan forum dedicated to him. At the time forums were the place to connect with people rather than Facebook and Twitter. It was really lovely to chat to his other fans and find out more about Billy. Way back in the 80s when I was still a young child Billy was in a group called The Faith Brothers. This was part of Billy's history that I knew nothing about and it was great to hear other fans and friends stories from back then. It also made me realise that I must be one of his youngest fans.

I continued listening to Billy's songs a lot over the years including trying to help spread the word about his talent especially around the World Cup 2010 when we tried to get his song 'The Beautiful Game' out there. Whilst Billy has always had a good loyal following he never seemed to get the recognition that he truly deserved for his music. He wasn't like the manufactured music that you hear so much of these days he had the talent where he could sit down and write his own music from scratch and his music is heartfelt and catchy. I have this annoying habit of singing out loud when out walking the dogs with Neil and quite often it would be Billy's songs and Neil would say "Whose song is that?" and I would reply "Billy Franks."

My personal favourite songs of his are 'Sleep A Little Easy When It Rains', 'I Wanna Be Your Country', 'All Mine' and 'Just' - I think I chose these songs from his album "Genius and Grace" because it was the first album he sent me so I have listened to it a lot.

I've done a little digging around YouTube and came across the first two videos that his dear friend Mick McCleery made with Billy and The Beautiful Game video which is introduced by Prince Harry. I thought I would share them with my readers, please have a listen: 

'Sleep A Little Easy When It Rains' - Billy Franks

'Love Being Lost' - Billy Franks

'The Beautiful Game' - Billy Franks with introduction by Prince Harry 

From what I read about Billy and have seen in videos of his gigs he was always a great story teller too. Sadly I never got to see Billy live or even meet him despite our online friendship of 15 years. It is my biggest regret. 

Billy wasn't only a talented singer but he enjoyed acting too. When he was young he was in a film called 'Melody' starring alongside Mark Lester and Jack Wild. I went out and found a copy of the film which was really sweet about young love. 

He also starred in films directed by his good friend Mick McCleery including  'Track 16' which was a thriller/murder mystery film with Billy playing the main character Paul Matthews. Billy also wrote the sound track for the film. Again some very catchy songs in the film including 'My Best Friend Stole My Girlfriend' and 'The Girl Of Your Dreams'. Mick kindly sent me a copy of the film which I really enjoyed. 

And in 2008 his friends filmed a fantastic documentary called 'Tribute This' where they travelled all over the world trying to get famous singers (ie Rod Stewart, Bryan Adams etc) to perform a song on a tribute album for charity full of Billy's songs. Could they get these celebrities to sing on an unknown singers tribute album? you can find out in the video below. I thought the it was such a great idea and the adventures they had were awesome. I watched the documentary for the first time this week it made me laugh and it made me cry. The friendships that Billy had were so special.

I really recommend you watch the documentary which is now available on Youtube thanks to director, Mick McCleery. It's a true tribute to Billy. Here it is: 

Tribute This

Billy was so kind and over the years did a lot of charity work too helping others in need. He was always willing to help where he could. He was an inspiration. 

My letter to Billy

To Billy, you was one of a kind. A true gent. A kind, caring and considerate man who worked so hard. You was so talented and special. I may never have got to meet you in person but I considered you as a friend. You deserved so much more recognition. You never gave up on your dream and for that you will always be a huge inspiration to me. You made a lot of people happy. They always say the talented ones are taken from us too early and I truly believe that. You will be missed by everyone who was lucky enough to come across you. You will never be forgotten because your music will always be there for us. Sleep a little easy my friend. Rest in Peace xxx