Thursday, 1 February 2018

One Year Later.....

A year ago I moved back to Somerset after splitting up with Neil. It's been an up and down year and I have been shockingly bad at keeping my blog updated so I thought it was time for a little update. 

When I first moved back home I have to admit I spent the first couple of months being angry and heartbroken over the whole break up and I absolutely dreaded my birthday in April because the year before it was ruined by Neil telling me he didn't love me anymore (yes on my birthday of all days).  However when my birthday came around and I had a lovely day full of love and best wishes from my family and friends I decided there and then to let go of the anger. Now when I think of Neil, which to be honest isn't that often, I just think of the good times we had. 

So what else has been happening with me:


When I first moved down here I thought I wasn't going to cope living on my own again especially with my Chronic Fatigue and anxiety but since moving I have coped and I think I have gained a little more confidence in myself. Of course I have days where I'm not well but as long as my dogs are walked and fed then it's just a bad day and hopefully the next day will be better. I still nap pretty much everyday and I tend to find that if I don't nap one day then I suffer the next day. 
When I got here I was 19 stone 4lbs (my heaviest ever) so in the summer I cut down on snacks etc and got down to 17 stone 2lbs. However winter came along and I put on again. I weighed myself a week and a half ago and I was 18 stone 7lbs so I decided to start eating healthier again and cut out the Pepsi Max (I was back on two litres a day).  I weighed myself today and I have lost 6lbs so I am really pleased with that. 
My anxiety is still a big issue for me. Just little things worry me so much and I get panicky. I still get anxious in social situations where I obsess with the fact that I am going to throw up. I never do throw up but I always feel like I am going to. I have had this since I was 11 years old. It's going to take time to get better. 


The best thing about being back in Somerset is that I get to spend a lot more time with my family. I see my Mum, Sister, Niece and Dad often. They have been a huge support to me and I wouldn't be here today without them. It's been great being able to spend time with Lilly over the summer holidays. We walked the dogs a lot. We especially liked walking by the old coal miners pools around here. The men used to wash off in them many years ago after coming out of the mines. 

We also did a few Youtube videos and hung out. I can't believe how much Lilly has grown up. She is 12 years old now and has started high school. I am very proud of her. No more so then when I saw her in her primary school leavers play. She played Abanazar (the baddie) in Aladdin and she was brilliant. Since starting high school she has joined the school dance group and she is also attending Bath Theatre Royals Theatre School as she really enjoys acting. 

This year my dear and much loved Nan sadly passed away. My Nan meant the world to me and whilst I didn't get to see her as often as I would of liked to in recent years due to me being up in Kidderminster and my Nan being in Devon she will always have a huge place in my heart. I have so many amazing memories of my Nan especially from when I was a child. She was kind, loving, generous and fun. We had some great times together especially at Christmas and on holidays to the New Forest and Disneyland Paris and not forgetting the time when she tried to dance to Boyzone's "So Good". I will never forget those times. I will never forget her. 


I moved down here with the two dogs Shortie and Jack. The boys have really loved living down here especially the country walks. There has been a few health issues with them both. 

Jack suffers from a grass allergy which is really annoying because there are so many fields to walk in around here and he loves nothing more than chasing the ball. Here is a picture of happy smiley Jack: 

Shortie is 15 years old now and suffers from arthritis so he enjoys a bit of a slower pace of life. I am currently giving him medication to help with this. He also had to have an operation to remove 28 rotten teeth. I was absolutely amazed that he came out of the operation and ate on the same day. He has recovered really well but now mostly eats wet food due to only having 6 teeth left. He absolutely loved visiting Weston-Super-Mare beach. 

When I moved down here I had to leave my 17 year old cat Tigger with Neil. Tigger had thyroid problems and was getting very old and frail and it wouldn't of been fair to move him here where he wouldn't be able to go out, he loved the outdoors so much. For me it was a heartbreaking decision to leave him but I had to do what was right for him. Sadly in September Tigger passed away peacefully in his sleep. He was a lovely cat who had such a loving personality and such a funny purr. He used to love walking around the streets with Shorts. He used to greet the guests at our old guesthouse. He had a happy life. I will never forget his quirky ways like if you said "top of the head" to him he would tilt his head for you to kiss it. I miss him a lot. 


Since moving down to Radstock I have made a really good friend called Terry who I chat to most nights on the phone and we meet up every so often. I used to chat to Terry about twenty years ago in an online chat room (IRC). One day I was having a bit of a down day and he messaged me on Facebook and we got chatting and now we are really good friends. He has been a rock to me and makes me laugh. He is kind and a true gent. I am very lucky to have him in my life. I'm looking forward to going to see Tears For Fears with him in Bath in May. 

Terry is also a talented photographer. He took this picture of me and I love it. 

So it hasn't been a bad year at all. Whilst occasionally I get a little bit lonely, as I still haven't met Mr Right, I am far more happier than I was. 

They say home is where the heart is and that is right where I am now. I'm home. 


  1. Sorry to read about Tigger but I hope that your happiness living in Somerset continues.

  2. So lovely to read this update. Sounds like you are doing very well being back home. I hope it continues for you xx